Sometimes you can sense the changes as they happen, though you're too deeply immersed to see the transformation.
As I sit out here on my patio, nervously avoiding my newly installed Skype program (while I desperately want to try it out, what will I do if someone actually calls and sees me without make-up, unwashed hair, and from the unflattering angle of the camera?), small birds flit mere feet above me adding little touches to their nest. In the metal grooves of the patio roof, they have found tiny hiding places from which they can easily dart down for breakfast and keep a mischievous eye out for the neighborhood cats.
The birds had a field day a few weeks ago after the severe storms and tornadoes. So many bits of insulation from shredded houses were strewn about; the birds greedily gathered them up to pad their cozy little beds with warmth. I sense this may backfire on them as the temperatures begin to reach up into the 90's. They will fly off into the trees during the day to seek cooler air, and return to sweat out the night in their self-made steam rooms.
Today is supposed to be the end of the world, according to a man who believes it to be so. What a wonderful experiment in human nature! Someone has looked in the Good Book for an end to his problems, sifted through numerology to justify his claim, and found a following of people craving the same morbid, self-righteous drama. It's the ultimate vengeance for them, I suppose. "Look at us! We were right! The rest of you are toast! We're better than you and get to live forever while you get swallowed up by earthquakes FOR MONTHS TO COME!!" You think they were not asked to join in any reindeer games?
There will never be an end, that is what is more irksome to me. Sure, billions of years from now, the earth may disintegrate, blow apart, something catastrophic and horrible. But will it end? No, it just becomes part of something else. Bits of matter will bond with other bits of something or other in space, and huge conglomerations will regenerate, become something new. There's no end; we're living eternity right now, as a people.
Just not individually. That's what drives people insane. Alone, we cannot persevere beyond the scope of our few, limited years granted us by the good grace of God, or the universe, or chance.
No, we can't feel the change as it happens. Occasionally there are drastic changes that slam into us, slice through our souls, cause us to curse others and question our humanity. But most often, we experience much bigger changes that we don't even notice until years later. That's what it means to grow, to learn, to make the most of the time we have.
Meanwhile, here I sit on my patio with a cup of tea, my laptop, my cats staring at me through the screen door, enjoying my time here and now, watching the blissfully ignorant birds eye me warily as they look for more bits of precious debris to better fill their home with treasures.